Klik x untuk menutup hasil pencarianCari di situs SABDASpace
To All Single Fighters Out There
Yes, I did not make any grammatical mistake when I wrote ‘single fighters’. I had wanted to write this a long time ago, but I had always thought, not many would benefit from it. I guess I was wrong.
You see, every Christian in this world is a God’s child. That is quite a beautiful description. Imagine, who doesn’t want to be His child, what a great privilege! That is when your faith is quite young. You start to know Him and you feel that He is so good, He takes care of your needs and you count His blessings.
Fast forward few years walking with Him, you will refer yourself as God’s soldier. In a sense, it is a pride for you to be chosen as God’s soldier. And you will think, it is a cool role, until you see what a soldier does. For me, I grew up in a quite stable condition (apart from major riot in Indonesia), so I only have a slightest idea about what a soldier do. The closest idea I can know is from movie, and it is not a very pleasing one.
The point is, being a soldier is a painful job, you have to defend yourself and whatever you believe in, in warzone. And you put your life at stake. In short, it is not an easy job. But I think, Jesus perfectly summed up the stake in His statement in Luke 14, “Whoever doesn't carry his cross and follow me can't be my disciple.” He made it clear that the price of following Him did not come cheap.
Now, usually soldiers fight in a battalion, or at least in a group or team. It makes sense, since as one of Murphy’s law said “Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.” To simplify it, having teammates decrease your chance to catch one of the enemy’s bullets. It is always feel better to fight alongside your fellow soldiers. It feels good, since even though you are afraid, you are not alone. In war, you might be worried that you will get shot, but personally, I am more worried if I get wounded and no one is there to help me.
Now, among those soldiers that are sent to war, there are few chosen (for whatever reason) to go alone. Which clearly means, they are by him/herself in the field. There are soldiers who do not go with the mainstream, and sadly, they only have their weapons to trust on. Of course, they have to believe in the ‘air support’ (faith in God, in this case).
I have always believed that I am one of those single fighters. I spent my Christian life mostly fighting by myself. It is not my choice to do that (in fact, I long for fellowship as much as anyone else), but apparently, God doesn’t promise a continual fellowship with others. It is not in His promise list as far as I know. He made promise that He will be with us always, but He never promise that there will be always someone by our side. Some of us have to face with that fact and push forward.
Now, life as a single fighter is never easy. No matter how strong you are, once you get into a continual exposure in the secular world, you will fall, you will stutter. A jar that pours water will eventually runs dry if you do not refill it. It will also get dry, if the amount that fills the jar is less than the amount it sends out.
Unlike life with my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, my life is bit different. In a sense, I do not get filled by my fellows, I have to depend on some sources, books, bible and church. I am sure some of you can relate to that. Sometimes, I don’t get a luxury of being picked up when I fall, so I have to pick myself up.
Now, I learn the hard part of being a single fighter for so long, and I have my own view. I look back into the days I have to struggle by myself, facing the storm of the world. There was a time when I was in despair, and I cried out to Him. And I found so many beautiful answers in the story of Elijah. And I hope, I can share it with you.
I thought that being a single fighter in this world is a rarity. The truth is, it is not. One thing that change the way I was learning is how I looked at my own situation. When I was focused on myself, I felt that I was so lonely, I was so pitiful. Things changed when I started to shift my focus on God. In Elijah case, God showed him that there were still so much people that were faithful to Him. So, he was not definitely alone. When I shifted my focus on God, I started to think differently. I started to be more and more grateful, because it was only by grace that God had chosen to use me.
I also learned that silence could be as effective as words to be His tool of communication. Silence was a painful experience, and nobody liked to have silence as an answer. Throughout my days, I have been faced with many silences from Him, but it was when He was silence that I found so many beautiful insights. God had shown Elijah in his experience on the mountain, asking him where he can found Him. It was not in the wind, earthquake or fire. It was in a still small voice. Sometimes, my life is so busy that my ear cannot focus on these small gentle voices.
Being a single fighter also trained me to be more dependent on God. When I was alone, I learned to put my hope in God, not in people. Of course, sometimes I was in despair, because it didn’t feel good at all. It is fascinating how human can still put hope in things even though they know that they are not reliable. Sometimes, the only way human can learn to depend on God is if God make Himself the only One to rely on. The bible teaches us that rich man is hard to enter the heaven, not because it is against wealth, but because rich people have material to depend on, while poor people, sometimes have nothing but God.
There are certain things that I do regret when I look back at my past. There are times when I felt so depressed that I was angry with God. I complained about how I wished I could be someone else, about how hard it was to follow the Lord. And that is one part that I regret about. It turns out that Elijah did the same thing. It was his mistake that he overstated his reason of being who he was. The truth is, God could easily choose someone else to represent him. Since that incident, Elijah did not perform any miraculous deed anymore (apart from his ascend to heaven), and God asked him to find Elisha, who replaced him.
I want to say to single fighters out there, that you are not alone. Find strength in him. We often have despairs in our lives, but please always remember, despairs are only moments in our lives, not a way of lives. Always always remember, that the God that calls us out, is also the God who will take care of us.
Also remember, having fellowship is a privilege. God never promises that He will always put someone beside you to go through the journey, but He promises to be with us until the end of the earth, and that promise should be more than enough for us. And since we do not have that much privilege, for every person that God has put in your life, please do try to make a difference. Because, in every deed that we do, it will mean something. You will be amazed how people’s words and encouragements can mean so much to me at the moment of despair and soul-searching. For me, Ryn’s words, Shel’s encouragement, BG’s ear, parents’ advices, Jenny and Winta’s comments, Edwin’s story, and many more, they give me so much strength to carry on.
PS: To all my readers and commenters, thank you so much for your responses. It has been a source of encouragement for me to write more. BTW, please do let me know if you think this post is bit too long. Do you like previous notes (shorter), or this one (longer)?
Belum ada user yang menyukai
- orgindo's blog
- Login to post comments
- 5774 reads
sabdaspace.org |
I'm not single fighters
I have always believed that I am one of those single fighters. I spent my Christian life mostly fighting by myself. It is not my choice to do that (in fact, I long for fellowship as much as anyone else), but apparently, God doesn’t promise a continual fellowship with others. It is not in His promise list as far as I know. He made promise that He will be with us always, but He never promise that there will be always someone by our side. Some of us have to face with that fact and push forward.
Kita memang dipanggil secara ‘sendiri/single/personal’, dan berjuang/bergumul/memenangkan peperangan2 di kehidupan kita kadangkala dengan cara demikian juga, tapi itu bukan berarti terus menerus seorang diri (tergantung dari sudut mana kita menjalaninya).
Jika anda mengambil kisah tentang Elia atau nabi-nabi jaman Perjanjian Lama, ya... mereka rata2 memang ‘single fighters’ tapi tidak demikian halnya dengan jaman Perjanjian Baru. Tuhan Yesus memang tidak menjanjikan seorangpun di dunia ini yang akan bersama kita terus menerus, tetapi jangan lupa bahwa IA memberikan contoh ‘team’ bagi kita waktu IA bersama dengan murid-muridNya berjalan melakukan kehendak Bapa.
Jadi? Kalau buat saya sih, urusan ‘diri sendiri’ memang harus saya hadapi, lewati dan perjuangkan sendiri, tapi untuk urusan melakukan kehendakNya? Wah... maaf, karena saya tak tercipta untuk berjalan sendiri... seperti nasehat lama di Pengkotbah 4: 9-12, Berdua lebih baik dari pada seorang diri, karena mereka menerima upah yang baik dalam jerih payah mereka. Karena kalau mereka jatuh, yang seorang mengangkat temannya, tetapi wai orang yang jatuh, yang tidak mempunyai orang lain untuk mengangkatnya! Juga kalau orang tidur berdua, mereka menjadi panas, tetapi bagaimana seorang saja dapat menjadi panas? Dan bilamana seorang dapat dialahkan, dua orang akan dapat bertahan. Tali tiga lembar tak mudah diputuskan.
Dan juga, mengingat amanat agungNya di Matius 28:19-20, saya mengartikannya sebagai perintah untuk bergabung dalam suatu team, menjadi team, melatih team... dan mengutus team...
I’m not single fighters...
For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.
internal affairs?
wah, kayaknya blog ini "sedikit terinspirasi" dari film "internal affairs" yang dimaenin dua tokoh ganteng berikut yah? :-)
bener nggak pengertian "single fighter" nya kira2 kayak di bawah ini?
Jadi? Kalau buat saya sih,
Jadi? Kalau buat saya sih, urusan ‘diri sendiri’ memang harus saya hadapi, lewati dan perjuangkan sendiri, tapi untuk urusan melakukan kehendakNya? Wah... maaf, karena saya tak tercipta untuk berjalan sendiri... seperti nasehat lama di Pengkotbah 4: 9-12,
terkadang keputusan untuk menjadi single fighter bukan berada di tangan kita sendiri. Itu berada di tangan Tuhan. Lihat sendiri contoh berikut dalam PB:
1. Paulus, ketika diangkut ke Roma
2. Thomas di India
3. Yohanes di Patmos
Apakah mereka yang memutuskan untuk pergi sendiri? Tidak. Melainkan karena kondisi. SEcara pribadi, situasi yang memaksa saya untuk menjadi SF (paling sedikit kondisi saya saat ini tidak memungkinkan). Banyak pendeta2 di China harus mengalami ini.
Penolong/pendamping itu diberikan Tuhan adalah sebuah berkat, sebuah anugerah, sebuah bonus. Namun Tuhan tidak pernah menjanjikan bahwa akan selalu ada penolong/pendamping yang berbentuk manusia. Tuhan berjanji dia akan selalu menyertai kita, namun tidak berjanji akan selalu ada seseorang di samping kita.
Perlu diketahui, ketika saya menyebut single fighter, tidak berarti orang tersebut selamanya menjadi SF.
wah, kayaknya blog ini "sedikit terinspirasi" dari film "internal affairs" yang dimaenin dua tokoh ganteng berikut yah? :-)
Sebenarnya ini lebih terinspirasi pengalaman saya sendiri. Namun film itu memberikan satu gambaran yang bagus tentang SF, di mana polisi harus masuk ke dalam dunia mafia sendirian. Tidak ada pendamping dan dia hanya bisa bergantung dengan diri sendiri untuk survival nya.
Pengalaman 'Single Fighter'
Hmmm... menurut saya, bung orgindo telah menggunakan contoh yang tidak tepat dalam membandingkan pengalaman pribadi anda dengan pengalaman tokoh-tokoh Alkitab yang anda sebut di atas.
Paulus di Roma, Thomas di India, dan Yohanes di Patmos harus berjuang sendiri (pada saat itu) karena mereka mengemban tugas mulia, yaitu sebagai evangelist. Saya tidak begitu familiar dengan cerita Thomas dan Yohanes, tetapi, di cerita Paulus (Kisah Para Rasul), bukankah ia dipenjara, lalu sampai dilempar ke Roma sendirian, karena berawal dari kegigihannya dalam menginjili orang Yahudi (berawal dari Kis 21:27)? Lalu, ketika mereka melihat pengikut Paulus bertambah banyak, dan semakin influential, ia (Paulus) dituntut oleh orang Yahudi? Ya betul, sisa ceritanya jelas-jelas campur tangan Tuhan, karena Tuhan memiliki tujuan tertentu dari insiden ini:
"(Paul said)...My brothers, although I have done nothing against our people or against the customs of our ancestors, I was arrested in Jerusalem and handed over to the Romans. 18They examined me and wanted to release me, because I was not guilty of any crime deserving death. 19But when the Jews objected, I was compelled to appeal to Caesar—not that I had any charge to bring against my own people. 20For this reason I have asked to see you and talk with you. It is because of the hope of Israel that I am bound with this chain." Acts 28:17-20
Ya, karena 'insiden' (baca: jalan Tuhan) tersebut, Paulus menjadi evangelist to the Gentiles in Rome.
Nah, pertanyaan saya, apakah pengalaman anda, sebagai 'Single Fighter', karena tugas anda sebagai 'evangelist'? Anda telah dikucilkan oleh masyarakat sekitar anda, karena 'kabar baik' yang anda beritakan? Atau memang pilihan anda untuk mengemban tugas mulia ini, sehingga tempat-tempat yang anda kunjungi, memang belum ada 'gereja' (baca: tubuh Kristus)?
Kalau itu memang benar, maka kesimpulan anda tepat:
"Always always remember, that the God that calls us out, is also the God who will take care of us"
Dari cerita singkat yang saya baca diatas, menurut saya, bung orgindo sebenarnya sedang 'dibentuk' oleh Tuhan. Anda sendiri mengatakannya di:
"...Being a single fighter also trained me to be more dependent on God. When I was alone, I learned to put my hope in God, not in people. Of course, sometimes I was in despair, because it didn’t feel good at all. It is fascinating how human can still put hope in things even though they know that they are not reliable. Sometimes, the only way human can learn to depend on God is if God make Himself the only One to rely on..."
Yang harus kita extra hati-hati, adalah jangan sampai kita mengambil kesimpulan "'Single Fighter' is OK and normal as a Christian"
Karena, dari pengalaman saya, terlalu banyak saudara/i seiman yang telah menjauhkan diri dari perkumpulan orang percaya, karena kekecewaan mereka dengan 'organisasi' gereja (beribu alasan faktual tentunya, yang saya sudah alami sendiri). Ya benar, Tuhan tidak menjanjikan 'gereja' yang sempurna (karena memang belum waktunya), tapi Tuhan memerintahkan kita untuk bersatu dengan saudara/i seiman lainnya;
"23Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. 24And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. 25Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching." Hebrews 10:23-25
Sekali lagi, seperti mbak iik sudah jelaskan dikomentarnya, terkadang kita harus menjalani perjuangan pribadi kita sendiri (seperti cerita anda di atas), tetapi, tugas kita sebagai pengikut Tuhan hanya bisa diemban dengan baik melalui persekutuan saudara/i seiman. Bukankah Yesus sendiri yang mengatakan:
"34"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."" John 13:34-35
Lalu, Paulus menjelaskan dalam fungsi 'gereja':
"10His intent was that now, through the church, the manifold wisdom of God should be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly realms, 11according to his eternal purpose which he accomplished in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Bagaimana mungkin kita bisa bersaksi melalui 'kasih sesamamu' tanpa '-mu'-nya disekitar kita?
Kesimpulan, saya tidak menganggap pengalaman anda sebagai pengalaman yang tidak Alkitabiah. Tidak, bahkan sebaliknya, itu adalah pengalaman yang membuktikan campur tangan Tuhan didalam hidup anda, sampai anda bisa menyimpulkan "to be more dependent on God".
Tetapi, saya hanya ingin menekankan bahwa situasi 'Single Fighter' bukanlah cara Tuhan dalam menyatakan kemuliaanNya. Melainkan, salah satu cara dalam membentuk pengikutNya (individual).
So, to 'Single Fighter' out there: "Yes, trust the LORD always, but, do you really have a good reason to fight the 'good fight' alone?"
Thanks
Thanks banget buat masukannya.
Nih, saya tambahkan detilnya. Semenjak saya tamat SMA, saya keluar dari kota saya dan memperdalam pendidikan saya. Di luar, banyak teman yang tidak percaya Tuhan, dan juga di kampus sendiri ada satu kesan hostile terhadap agama terutama Christianity. Makanya, susah banget to have someone to support.
Peace
Gereja Klewer
Kalau memang begitu situasinya, biarlah sementara ini saudara/i seiman dari pasar klewer (Sabda Space) berdoa untuk anda, agar tetap kuat berjalan denganNya, menjadi saksi bagi orang sekitar anda melalui kasih Tuhan, walau mereka 'hostile' terhadap anda.
Menurut saya, pengalaman anda mungkin lebih mirip dengan Daud, ketika semua orang disekelilingnya 'hostile' terhadapnya, walau ia tetap setia kepada Tuhan. Mazmurnya penuh dengan kisah 'Single Fighter'-nya. Daud juga memberi contoh terbaik untuk kita dalam menghadapi situasi seperti ini ketika Tuhan mengizinkannya terjadi, yaitu tidak untuk 'self-pity', tapi tetap fokus kepada kebesaran Tuhan. Seperti anda yang sudah simpulkan sendiri:
"When I shifted my focus on God, I started to think differently. I started to be more and more grateful, because it was only by grace that God had chosen to use me"
Psalm 10
1 [a]Why, O LORD, do you stand far off?
Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?
2 In his arrogance the wicked man hunts down the weak,
who are caught in the schemes he devises.
3 He boasts of the cravings of his heart;
he blesses the greedy and reviles the LORD.
4 In his pride the wicked does not seek him;
in all his thoughts there is no room for God.
5 His ways are always prosperous;
he is haughty and your laws are far from him;
he sneers at all his enemies.
6 He says to himself, "Nothing will shake me;
I'll always be happy and never have trouble."
7 His mouth is full of curses and lies and threats;
trouble and evil are under his tongue.
8 He lies in wait near the villages;
from ambush he murders the innocent,
watching in secret for his victims.
9 He lies in wait like a lion in cover;
he lies in wait to catch the helpless;
he catches the helpless and drags them off in his net.
10 His victims are crushed, they collapse;
they fall under his strength.
11 He says to himself, "God has forgotten;
he covers his face and never sees."
12 Arise, LORD! Lift up your hand, O God.
Do not forget the helpless.
13 Why does the wicked man revile God?
Why does he say to himself,
"He won't call me to account"?
14 But you, O God, do see trouble and grief;
you consider it to take it in hand.
The victim commits himself to you;
you are the helper of the fatherless.
15 Break the arm of the wicked and evil man;
call him to account for his wickedness
that would not be found out.
16 The LORD is King for ever and ever;
the nations will perish from his land.
17 You hear, O LORD, the desire of the afflicted;
you encourage them, and you listen to their cry,
18 defending the fatherless and the oppressed,
in order that man, who is of the earth, may terrify no more.
@orgindo, "It is always between you and God"
Mother Theresa said once: "It is always between you and God"
I understand there are times when we count on fellow christian for support. But then in the end we understand than everyone of us have to fulfill our own single mission with our lives In the end we understand that it is only to God and God alone that we run for support, not fellow-christian, not even the priest.
.